2014-02-07

Thank you Mr Gallagher for spoiling our fun! Memo from two jersey cows




My cows want to lay a complaint about Mr Gallagher, and his rather shocking tactics. As they can't speak human,  the concept of writing nothing but "MOO" through out the composition is out of the question. I guess, I will have to translate my bovine's rather loud complaints into the english language as best as I can.

Moomo Memo to Mad Bush Farmer dated 2nd February 2014
Delivered by MOO cowpat left on door step. Time 5 am

Dear %$^&!!!  Mad Bush Farmer aka &^%$#@@@!!!!!!!!!MOO

We note you have mooed blocked off our access from your moo garden with white &^%MOO wire. This is completely &*%$#  unacceptable! moo. We require an moo&%@Moo explanation Moo%$! IMMEDIATELY! signed your two Jersey cows

Response to Memo from Two Jersey Cows dated 3rd February 2014
Delivered by loud shouting from the hilltop 10 a.m

Dear Jersey nuisances River and Terrorist

Banning you lot from &*(%$   shredding up what is LEFT of my #$%^ garden is the best thing I EVER did. Better still, I've got Mr Gallagher working at full capacity. I hope you enjoyed your shocking experience when you attempted to infiltrate the secure zone I have now instigated.

Signed The Mad Bush Farmer

PS don't call me ^%$*&@#$MOO it's not nice

Response to Memo From The Mad Bush Farmer aka &^%$#!!!!&%$!???!! dated 4th February 2014
Delivered by a wrecked fence down the back of the farm 11.15 pm

Did you say Mr MOO%^*&^@%%!!?? Gallagher Moo??? &^*($#!!!Moo!!!! So THAT explains why both of us are having a bad MOO day?? Moo*&^!!!

Response to  Jersey Nuisances response to Mad Bush Farmer about Memo dated 5th February 2014
Delivered by loud cackling from the other hill top 6.30am

That's what I said. Whoops it appears the boys next door found you two roaming again. Did I mention you're now banned from the back of the farm. Mr Gallagher has assisted in this decision. You may experience another shocking incident in this instance. Oh and then there's the matter of the high tensile wire recommended for Mr Gallagher. I understand it has a rather nasty bite to it.

Signed the Mad Bush Farmer

PS I believe Mr Gallagher has won this round. And please I can't translate cow language obscenities very well.

Ransom demand Memo from Jersey Cow Mafia delivered by loud barking at 10pm dated 5th February 2014

We have your MOO&^%! dog surrounded MOO$#  Hand over Gallagher Moo&^%  immediately! or the mutt gets it!

Signed
*&^%MOO,@#$%%  The Jersey Mafia

Response to Ransom Demand of Dog by Jersey Cow Mafia dated 6th February
Delivered by cattle stick

Okay you lot GET BACK TO THE PADDOCK OR YOU"RE GOING TO THE WORKS!

Signed
Irate Mad Bush Farmer

PS Mr Gallagher says he has increased the current. He assures me your experience will be totally electifying if you try getting out again.

Response from Jersey Cow Mafia dated 6th February
Delivered by strategic retreat

This is not over Moo. The dog peed on our legs ^&%$moo. You'll be hearing from our lawyers! Moo

Response to Jersey Cow Mafia now locked in a paddock by Mad Bush Farmer and Mr Gallagher

Cows don't have lawyers. Take my advice you two. Stay behind the wire. Mr Gallagher is always on patrol. Yes the dog would pee on your legs if you two are standing like two statues alongside his kennel.

Signed the Mad Bush Farmer

PS those attempts to make me feel guilty are failing to work. Now behave!










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1 comment:

  1. LOL. took me a while to click who mr Gallagher was hehe

    ReplyDelete