STUPID HOOMAN PROTESTS AGAINST UNJUST MINION OF BASEMENT CAT MORNING TORMENT
"I PROTEST!!!! THIS IS SOOO UNFAIR. HE GOT ME THIS MORNING...AGAIN"
These were the agonised words today of Mad Bush Farm Editor Liz as yet again she suffered the well planned torment of Minion of Basement Cat Sasquatch. We got an exclusive secret camera closeup shot of Sasquatch in action sinking his teeth into what he described later as 'preferred target zone on stupid zombie brained hooman who sits at flashy box'
9 month old Sasquatch was once an innocent sweet little kitty with cute eyes and a nice little purr. But now - he has turned for certain away from the great Celing Cat. We know this for certain. Basement Cat himself called our office declaring that at last he had turned the Sasquatch into one of his confirmed minions. And of course now there is no hope. Unless there is a Celing Cat divine intervention Liz will continue to suffer this daily torment ritual at the flashy box.
- Mad Bush Chronicle Correspondent