Greetings at the Farm Gate - May I EAT your camera please

 Hi Mr Postman can I eat your hair please?

'Normal' people raise cattle to eat them - that's 'normal people' note. Normal around here means, weeds that look like triffids, resisting all attempts of assassination by herbicide, to see them wither off into the great blue yonder, mice that seem to know how to spring traps without being caught, and of course, we have the one thing that truly makes our lives absolutely crazy beyond reason. The Terrorist and her continuing  %%##!!!! exploits around the triffid infested farm. The triffids will eventually  cark it! succumb to my herbicide when hell freezes over but meantime, I have to put up with them, the mice trying to use our house as winter headquarters for Mafia Mice Inc, and the Terrorist being used as the lawn mower grass reducing device.


The Postman is ignoring me so I'll just investigate you Mum

The Autumn chill came on last night, with all of us starting to scramble around for extra jumpers, socks and thick blankets to hibernate under for the night. Caught between a dose of Criminal Minds and Inaya's quotations from the said series - I was wondering where sanity had gone to. A mad house is what we have. At this rate the men with the white coats will be turning up with the strait jackets and hopefully a cappucino to go.

 Hmmm.............this looks tasty

On the subject of cattle - I came across a story in an old newspaper was browsing when I was searching for something completely unrelated. I love our National Library for digitising our past newspapers and opening up an entirely new world into the past. We hear time and time again the saying 'Like a bull in a china shop' - how about a bull literally in a shop window. I am not kidding. I had to read it twice before I thought - oh blow it I'll print it off and blog about it. Too funny to ignore. It wouldn't have been for the poor bloke who owned the shop though!  In December of 1919 a gentleman had been to the market and bought a bull and a number of cows. As he herded them through the streets, one cow in typical fashion, decided to head off into another direction, with of course, the owner in pursuit. Meantime the bull decided to go shopping...

The Bull started a tour of exploration. He ambled slowly on to the pavement, and, apparently at peace with the world, wandered along. Suddenly, he perceived another bull glaring at him from the window of a confectionery shop. He bristled. The other bull bristled. He pawed. The other bull pawed. He roared. The noise he made effectively drowned the challenging bellow of the other bull, but the latter went through all the motions.

Our bull could stand it no longer. He lowered his head and shot forward in a charge. There was a mad crash. Women screamed, men shouted - and a completely bewildered and disillusioned bull was extricated from the wreckage of the window, and the big mirror which had graced it. His majesty seemed to think it was a really great victory, but with something unsatisfying about it.
His majesty's owner had to pay the owner of the confectionery shop £20.

- Poverty Bay Herald  5 January 1920

"I'm ready for my closeup now Mr De Mille"

Meantime I'll try and wipe the Terrorist's slime off my digital camera, and contemplate once more, the bug Zen of my this time - unburnt coffee. She had her  15 4 minutes of fame not to mention a piece of my clothing. Trust Andy Warhol to come up with that line. 11 minutes of yelling at the Terrorist to stop eating my camera! fame remaining on the clock....and counting.

FOUR MINUTES OF FAME!???!!!! %##$$@@!!! You OWE ME 11 more minutes Warhol!

Oh please who is she kidding then? Have a good one folks



Import one pork disease, get the second one free?

Proposals by the Ministry of Agricultural and Fisheries (MAF) to relax import health standards for raw pork from the United States, Canada, Mexico and the European Union (EU), is like playing Russian roulette with the entire agricultural sector.

"Although MAF have stated that there is only a 1 in 1227 year risk of an outbreak of the Porcine Reproductive and Respiratory Syndrome (PRRS) from imported raw pork, this doesn't account for other serious animal diseases carried in raw meat," says John Hartnell, Federated
Farmers biosecurity spokesperson.

"Take Bulgaria, which is a member of the EU.  Bulgaria has been struggling to put down an outbreak of foot and mouth disease, which has infected pigs and other livestock and fresh outbreaks were
confirmed only last week."

"The potential for not just PRRS but other diseases to be carried in raw pork is real.  Pigs are one of the greatest risk vectors for ruminant diseases and we don't want to import one disease and get a
second one for free."

"I'm sure MAF believes its calculations, but a disease doesn't stop to check the calendar to see what year it is. '1 in a 1227 years' could well be next year?"

"After all, the odds of a standard ticket winning last weekend's $34 million Powerball were 1 in 3.8 million but that didn't stop two people from doing just that.  MAF's odds seem more numerology than science - a belief in the numbers and not what a trend maybe telling us."

"This is not a case of protectionism. We live for free trade but that does not mean unquestioning trade."

"What we're talking about is retail ready raw pork that can be delivered from the export carton straight to a supermarket's shelf or to any food service outlet in the country.  There is potential for raw meat to host exotic diseases."

"The move to relax import health standards for raw pork is the thin edge of the biosecurity wedge.  Especially when agreement has just been finalised, which will see New Zealand pork producers adopt
world-leading animal welfare standards."

"This considerable investment will now be overshadowed by the increased risk that this industry now faces."

"As an island, we're still thankfully free of most exotic pests and diseases due to sound biosecurity.  It's time to put aside the calculator, open up our eyes and start matching activity with old fashioned common sense," Mr Hartnell concluded.