2010-01-21

Firing the Rain Gods!


Dear Rain Gods (if that’s what you guys can call ourselves)


You promised we here in stuck out in the way beyonds of Northland New Zealand would ,by now, get some darned rain.


WHERE IS IT!!!!!!



We here at the Mad Bush Farm are getting rather grouchy. It means no longer will my hair stick out. The ground has been far too dry to conduct the proper electric current required for my hair to stand out on end each time I wake up in the morning. You must realise this spoils the ambient look of the management with the bad attitude gleam.


Please explain to we, the disgruntled plebs here living on the land, just WHY the chickens are now wearing John Lennon style sunglasses - and are now claiming to be cover models for the latest release of CHICKEN VOGUE Magazine. Worse still they’re demanding designer night roosts and are now laying only purple eggs. Sorry that is just NOT my colour for this summer rural fashion season!


I will also blame you guys for the fact that the local water suppliers will now be rubbing their hands with glee when they present us with a gigantic bill for filling up the water tank. Just because your pals the dust gods wanted to kick their dusty heels up and turn Northland into a dust bowl for the heck of does not mean you the Rain Gods will not be held accountable for those beer bottles they left behind for the locals to clear up afterwards.



I am beginning to think this is all a conspiracy between you guys, the Dust Gods, the Aliens, the C.I.A, and four chickens who all call themselves Klaus.


I’ll also blame you for those rotten possums that seem to be breeding like flies and eating our bush to match sticks and whose idea was it to give them $10 Raybans then?


And if you think you can whistle like that…..well we won’t have it!



You are fired forthwith...binned...canned ...downsized...and terminated for your position!!!!


BAH!



Signed

The Mad Bush Farm Management (with a bad attitude gleam)

Out in the Sticks

Middle of the Rural stuff

Northland

New Zealand

2010-01-20

Federated Farmers drought line reactivated

Federated Farmers drought line reactivated

Federated Farmers welcomes the Government’s rapid response today to declare the Northland region to be in a medium scale adverse event. The Federation has responded by reactivating its 0800 drought line (0800 376 844).

“Federated Farmers had hoped that rain would come but things have now come to a head. Farmers will be really appreciative of the Minister’s action,” says Denis Anderson, Federated Farmers Northland provincial president.

“Anyone who has been through the province would have noticed how dry it is. Just over a week ago our soil moisture deficit was 130mm, which is well over double what we expect at this time of the year.

“The main benefit of this declaration is that it provides access to relief measures such as giving Inland Revenue flexibility in treating farmers’ taxation commitments. The Ministry of Social Development further helps families whose income and essential living needs have been badly affected.

“This declaration also offers grants to the Northland Rural Support Trust so that it can offer practical support such as financial advice and welfare support. At times like this, there is a fair degree of psychological and social stress so counselling services would be very welcome.

“Federated Farmers is making its drought line, 0800 DROUGHT (0800 376 844), available to all farmers. At this time, we need to pull together.

“0800 DROUGHT is primarily a feed line that matches farmers with surplus feed to those in need. I’m also contacting Federated Farmers Grain and Seed industry group to ascertain feed stock availability. This provides a further touch point with the Northland Rural Support Trust.

“I will send an advisory out to the Federation’s Northland members shortly to alert them to the drought line and feed list.

“It would be great to see water storage come to the top of the Government’s infrastructure list as climate variation will likely cause an erratic weather pattern. Storing the ample rainfall we normally get would future proof our region and the wider economy,” Mr Anderson concluded.