THE KIWI FARMER

Amy sent me this oldie but a goodie on the email just now. I love this old joke it still makes me laugh out loud so I thought I'd shove it on the blog until I get a chance to do a proper post. Deadline to make even though I really don't feel like being stuck in front of computer screen when I could be outside enjoying the day and getting some more gardening done. Joke below. A big city lawyer from Sydney was holidaying in the New Zealand. He went duck hunting in rural Waikato. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it." The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here." The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in Australasia and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own." The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in the Waikato. We settle small disagreements like this with the Waikato Three Kick Rule." The lawyer asked, "What is the Waikato Three Kick Rule?" The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up." The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger who looked extremely frail and was really quite elderly. The lawyer agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer carefully and slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. With his first kick he planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick went to the midriff and sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The barrister was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie. The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he felt that it was retribution time. He felt truly great as he said, "Okay, you old sweetheart. Now it's my turn." The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck!"